Since the day we found out we were having twins, I've made a conscious effort to not let myself think about how my life would've been if I'd only had one baby. God blessed us with not one, but two babies. Why waste the mental energy thinking of a life that is not? But try as I might, these thoughts often creep into my mind.
These thoughts usually strike during moments of high stress - like when I'm home alone after a long day and Madeline is crying because she doesn't want to go to sleep and
then she wakes Emery. And all I want to do is take out my contacts and go to bed!
But they also strike at other times, like when I just want to sit and rock one baby but the other is fussing. Moms of singletons get to relish time with one baby without the added pressure of that other baby needing to be tended to (I realize it's only like with the first born but still!).
I know they say that the grass is always greener on the other side. And I wouldn't trade either of my babies for anything. And I know it will only get easier and that having twins can also be a lot of fun. But yet, I still wonder sometimes. And every time I wonder, I try to stop and thank God for both of my babies.
Showing posts with label Twins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twins. Show all posts
Friday, July 9, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Nursing Twins
I have so many things I want to blog about it’s hard deciding what to start with. Forgive me for ending my sentence with a preposition – it always sounds entirely too formal when I write things like “deciding with which topic to start.” (I think that’s correct…) I finally decided on breast feeding. Long before I met my awesome Lactation Consultant friend Joan, and long before I really learned how much breast feeding benefits both baby and mom, I knew I wanted to try it. I can’t really say why. I often claimed that the only reason I hadn’t looked into getting a breast reduction was because I didn’t want anything to interfere with my ability to breast feed.
When we found out we were having not one, but TWO babies, I was nervous about how I would juggle breast feeding two. I did a lot of research about it and read everything I could get my hands on. I was really bummed when I went to the New Moms Panel at our local Mothers of Twins Club and only ONE woman had attempted BFing and hadn’t done it very long. I tried to remain positive but still had nagging worries in the back of mind. I tried to counter every worry with a vision of me happily nursing both of my healthy babies (That was always another worry – delivering early. But I’ll save that for another time). In my search for other twin moms who breastfed, I even attended a La Leche League meeting. I was so glad to meet a twin mom there who had successfully breastfed her twins.
Fast forward to the arrival of Madeline and Emery. Although born at 36 weeks 5 days, they were very healthy babies. The only issue was jaundice. They started out on biliblankets and we could only take them out long enough for me to try to breastfeed them. After they took them off those, their bilirubin counts jumped back up and they had to take them and put them under stronger lights. Them having to have light therapy coupled with sleepy babies who didn’t want to nurse and had latching issues and constant visitors made for a rough time learning for all of us. I asked for a pump right away but it was unpleasant in the beginning and I was so tired and there were always people around (you can’t pump discreetly – especially when you don’t know what you’re doing).
Since the babies had jaundice the hospital told us we needed to supplement to help flush out whatever it was that was causing the high bilirubins (I don’t remember). They knew I wanted to breast feed so they told us we could finger feed (w/a dropper and a finger in the mouth). We kept getting conflicting advice about breast feeding from each nurse so I finally asked to see a lactation consultant. Of course the first time they came to visit was right after a nasty pediatrician told us we had to give them bottles.. Many of the people who came in told me I shouldn’t feel guilty because we had to give the babies formula. I didn’t feel guilty, I felt FRUSTRATED! Even though the babies were healthy and had good weights, they had lower bilirubin standards to meet because they were technically “premature.”
Because I was so tired and trying to take care of two babies, I wasn’t pumping as much as I needed to be so I became engorged. The nurses showed me how to cut open a diaper and put ice in it to use as an ice pack. So when the time came, we were discharged supplementing. I hated it but I tried to not dwell on supplementing and focus on breast feeding.
And we supplemented for three very long months. Breast feeding AND supplementing is quite a lot of work. I would nurse both babies then we’d have to prepare and give bottles and I also had to find time to pump during all this to try to increase my supply. Luckily Sean got laid off when the babies were a couple weeks old and he was home to help me. It’s quite a challenge to get situated to nurse two babies at once. I hated it when he was gone plowing snow. It was especially hard to do by myself.
For the first two months, barely a day went by that I didn’t think about quitting. I’m not really even sure how I carried on or why. I do know, that in the end, it was all worth it. About a month before I went back to work, Emery stopped wanting a bottle after I nursed him (he was my star nurser long before Madeline was good at it). Then after a bout with reflux, about two weeks before I went back to work, Madeline stopped wanting her bottle too. We had finally done it! Now, I can do everything by myself and have even nursed in the car (while parked). But I definitely need Sean’s help for that.
Although it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve even done (even harder than learning to run), I’m so thankful that we hung in there and I’m glad I’m still able to do it. Exclusively breast feeding is SO MUCH easier than BFing and supplementing with formula. I love not having to mess with bottles. I’m also very thankful that my job allows for pumping. Originally, my goal was six months. But we’ve worked so hard to get to where we are, I plan on trying for one year. It’s been much easier for me mentally since M&E started solids at six months. I feel a sense of relief not having to be the sole source of sustenance for them.
It has been a struggle to keep my supply up with pumping during the workweek. I’m supplement regularly with fenugreek capsules and Yogi Support Nursing tea (it’s really not bad at all). It’s all worth it though, not only do I get to spend lots of quality time with my babies, I get to eat a ton of food too. Granted, I could watch what I eat and probably get down below my pre-pregnancy weight with no problem, but I am always SO hungry, that’s a struggle. Plus, it’s nice to be able to eat pretty much whatever you want for once!
This blog wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention that none of this would’ve been possible with Sean’s support. He had to do a LOT in the beginning to allow me the time to focus on breast feeding. If you’re still reading, thanks. I know this was LONG!
When we found out we were having not one, but TWO babies, I was nervous about how I would juggle breast feeding two. I did a lot of research about it and read everything I could get my hands on. I was really bummed when I went to the New Moms Panel at our local Mothers of Twins Club and only ONE woman had attempted BFing and hadn’t done it very long. I tried to remain positive but still had nagging worries in the back of mind. I tried to counter every worry with a vision of me happily nursing both of my healthy babies (That was always another worry – delivering early. But I’ll save that for another time). In my search for other twin moms who breastfed, I even attended a La Leche League meeting. I was so glad to meet a twin mom there who had successfully breastfed her twins.
Fast forward to the arrival of Madeline and Emery. Although born at 36 weeks 5 days, they were very healthy babies. The only issue was jaundice. They started out on biliblankets and we could only take them out long enough for me to try to breastfeed them. After they took them off those, their bilirubin counts jumped back up and they had to take them and put them under stronger lights. Them having to have light therapy coupled with sleepy babies who didn’t want to nurse and had latching issues and constant visitors made for a rough time learning for all of us. I asked for a pump right away but it was unpleasant in the beginning and I was so tired and there were always people around (you can’t pump discreetly – especially when you don’t know what you’re doing).
Since the babies had jaundice the hospital told us we needed to supplement to help flush out whatever it was that was causing the high bilirubins (I don’t remember). They knew I wanted to breast feed so they told us we could finger feed (w/a dropper and a finger in the mouth). We kept getting conflicting advice about breast feeding from each nurse so I finally asked to see a lactation consultant. Of course the first time they came to visit was right after a nasty pediatrician told us we had to give them bottles.. Many of the people who came in told me I shouldn’t feel guilty because we had to give the babies formula. I didn’t feel guilty, I felt FRUSTRATED! Even though the babies were healthy and had good weights, they had lower bilirubin standards to meet because they were technically “premature.”
Because I was so tired and trying to take care of two babies, I wasn’t pumping as much as I needed to be so I became engorged. The nurses showed me how to cut open a diaper and put ice in it to use as an ice pack. So when the time came, we were discharged supplementing. I hated it but I tried to not dwell on supplementing and focus on breast feeding.
And we supplemented for three very long months. Breast feeding AND supplementing is quite a lot of work. I would nurse both babies then we’d have to prepare and give bottles and I also had to find time to pump during all this to try to increase my supply. Luckily Sean got laid off when the babies were a couple weeks old and he was home to help me. It’s quite a challenge to get situated to nurse two babies at once. I hated it when he was gone plowing snow. It was especially hard to do by myself.
For the first two months, barely a day went by that I didn’t think about quitting. I’m not really even sure how I carried on or why. I do know, that in the end, it was all worth it. About a month before I went back to work, Emery stopped wanting a bottle after I nursed him (he was my star nurser long before Madeline was good at it). Then after a bout with reflux, about two weeks before I went back to work, Madeline stopped wanting her bottle too. We had finally done it! Now, I can do everything by myself and have even nursed in the car (while parked). But I definitely need Sean’s help for that.
Although it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve even done (even harder than learning to run), I’m so thankful that we hung in there and I’m glad I’m still able to do it. Exclusively breast feeding is SO MUCH easier than BFing and supplementing with formula. I love not having to mess with bottles. I’m also very thankful that my job allows for pumping. Originally, my goal was six months. But we’ve worked so hard to get to where we are, I plan on trying for one year. It’s been much easier for me mentally since M&E started solids at six months. I feel a sense of relief not having to be the sole source of sustenance for them.
It has been a struggle to keep my supply up with pumping during the workweek. I’m supplement regularly with fenugreek capsules and Yogi Support Nursing tea (it’s really not bad at all). It’s all worth it though, not only do I get to spend lots of quality time with my babies, I get to eat a ton of food too. Granted, I could watch what I eat and probably get down below my pre-pregnancy weight with no problem, but I am always SO hungry, that’s a struggle. Plus, it’s nice to be able to eat pretty much whatever you want for once!
This blog wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention that none of this would’ve been possible with Sean’s support. He had to do a LOT in the beginning to allow me the time to focus on breast feeding. If you’re still reading, thanks. I know this was LONG!
Friday, September 18, 2009
September 17 Growth Scan
We had a growth scan yesterday (32w3d). Baby boy is 4 lbs and transverse (sideways) but his head is down lower than his body so he’s on his way to the proper position! And baby girl is 3 lbs 12 oz and is already in the proper position (vertex). Yay for her! She better stay that way.
My visit with the doctor was today (paying $3 for parking per visit adds up so I won’t be letting them split my visits up anymore). The nurse told me that I looked “fabulous” when she walked in. I don’t know if she tells all patients that to make them feel better but I’ll take the compliment. Starting next week I go every Monday for a non-stress test where they monitor their heartbeats for 20 minutes. The next growth scan is in 4 weeks. These are getting extremely uncomfortable for me. The babies are VERY low so I practically have to be lying flat which is NOT pleasant.
This past Wednesday was our second night of childbirth prep classes. We had our tour of the maternity unit and then learned about relaxation techniques. I sleep in one hour stretches through the night and never actually feel rested. So when she told us to get comfy (either on couches or in bean bags), I told Sean to wake me if I started snoring. He had to wake me twice. I just couldn’t stay awake with the dimmed lights, soothing music and the instructor walking us through guided imagery exercises. I don’t think I heard a word she said. After a while I was just focusing on staying awake so I wouldn’t snore.
It’s getting to be time to buy a 2010 planner (I thought about this today b/c I made a dentist appt for March). I was thinking about how every year I search and search for the perfect planner but never find what I’m looking for. Maybe that’s my life’s calling – to design the perfect planner. I mean who needs those pages with the area codes, time zones, and metric weights and measurements anyway?
My visit with the doctor was today (paying $3 for parking per visit adds up so I won’t be letting them split my visits up anymore). The nurse told me that I looked “fabulous” when she walked in. I don’t know if she tells all patients that to make them feel better but I’ll take the compliment. Starting next week I go every Monday for a non-stress test where they monitor their heartbeats for 20 minutes. The next growth scan is in 4 weeks. These are getting extremely uncomfortable for me. The babies are VERY low so I practically have to be lying flat which is NOT pleasant.
This past Wednesday was our second night of childbirth prep classes. We had our tour of the maternity unit and then learned about relaxation techniques. I sleep in one hour stretches through the night and never actually feel rested. So when she told us to get comfy (either on couches or in bean bags), I told Sean to wake me if I started snoring. He had to wake me twice. I just couldn’t stay awake with the dimmed lights, soothing music and the instructor walking us through guided imagery exercises. I don’t think I heard a word she said. After a while I was just focusing on staying awake so I wouldn’t snore.
It’s getting to be time to buy a 2010 planner (I thought about this today b/c I made a dentist appt for March). I was thinking about how every year I search and search for the perfect planner but never find what I’m looking for. Maybe that’s my life’s calling – to design the perfect planner. I mean who needs those pages with the area codes, time zones, and metric weights and measurements anyway?
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| From Twins |
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Our Diaper Bag Debate
I’m still going to post about the showers but I have diaper bags on the brain today. Several of you know I’ve been trying to find the perfect diaper bag for months. I’m vertically challenged and already have trouble keeping a purse on my shoulder. So the thought of trying to carry a shoulder diaper bag while juggling two infant car seats was scary. I know how my laptop bag slides off my shoulder and slams into my leg. I don’t want to deal with a diaper bag doing this too, or worse, hitting the babies!
Given all this, I knew I wanted a backpack style. Naturally, this really limited my options. We’d looked at Babies R’ Us but the ones at the store were smaller than the backpack I still have from college (which only has a front pocket and doesn’t stand up on its own).
After shopping around online, I decided to talk to a few of my mom friends to see what they recommended. Another concern of mine was size. Just HOW BIG of a diaper bag does a mom of twins need? I believe Nancy’s response was, “I don’t think you’ll find a diaper bag big enough.” Great. Thanks!
So over the weekend I was doing more online shopping with our store credit and found this diaper bag – the Dad Gear Diaper Bag Backpack. We didn’t buy it from this site, it’s just that this site has the best pictures of it. One of the reviewers on Target’s site said that this bag was TOO BIG. Since we’ll eventually want a smaller bag, I wanted to start out with a more average-sized bag and then get a bigger one if we decided we needed it. I got tired of arguing and we ordered this in gray and black. It’s supposed to arrive next week so I’ll let you all know the verdict!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Kovacs Twins Tour 2009 Kick-off
I’m more than a little behind in my blogging. For those of you who don’t know, I failed the 1-hour glucose tolerance screening by two points. So I had to go back for the THREE-HOUR screening. Sitting in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs for one hour was bad enough – even with the company of a good book, so I wasn’t looking forward to three hours. To make matters worse, I wasn’t able to go to the lab where I normally go because of scheduling conflicts and the chairs where I did end up going were even worse!
Fortunately, I passed the three-hour test! I was super excited about that.
We kicked off the Kovacs Twins Shower Tour 2009 in Chillicothe on August 2 (picture are below). Thanks to Jennifer and Joan for throwing us a fabulous shower! Because we’re having twins and the chances of me being put on bed rest are higher than if we were only having ONE baby, AND because I really wanted to have the showers while I could still move around and was relatively comfortable, AND because we want to have all baby related stuff done by September, all our showers are in August.
And during all of this the babies are getting bigger and MUCH stronger!
Fortunately, I passed the three-hour test! I was super excited about that.
We kicked off the Kovacs Twins Shower Tour 2009 in Chillicothe on August 2 (picture are below). Thanks to Jennifer and Joan for throwing us a fabulous shower! Because we’re having twins and the chances of me being put on bed rest are higher than if we were only having ONE baby, AND because I really wanted to have the showers while I could still move around and was relatively comfortable, AND because we want to have all baby related stuff done by September, all our showers are in August.
And during all of this the babies are getting bigger and MUCH stronger!
Monday, August 10, 2009
August 10 Ultrasound
We had a growth scan today where they measure the babies to make sure they’re growing like they should be. The tech was figuring out how they laying and I started to feel queasy. I drink my juice watered down and thought maybe I hadn’t added enough water and that was what was bothering me. The tech noticed I was fidgeting and asked if I need to sit up. I said yes and we continued.
I was still uncomfortable and the queasiness was increasing and she asked again so they sat me up some more. We got a little more done then I said something about being hot. That must’ve really alarmed her because she told Sean to open the door and then she got some wet paper towels and put them on my neck and wiped my head. At this point, she had me sitting straight up. But I think the wheels were set in motion. I said something about not feeling good still and asked if I should stand up. She told me no because she didn’t want me passing out. She told Sean to go into the hall and say “We need a nurse.” He went searching for one. Meanwhile, my hearing was going and I could feel darkness creeping up. I kept closing my eyes and she was mildly shaking me – stay with me! All I could think was, “Why don’t they have a fan in here?”
Finally two nurses rush into the room. Of course the blood pressure cuff in that room was attached to the wall and too far away from me. They finally got one and took my blood pressure – it was 90 over 60. I saw that one of them had smelling salts. I’m SO glad she didn’t need them. They got me some juice (not watered down – I couldn’t finish it) and I was all better. They asked if I’d eaten breakfast. I told them I’d just had an egg sandwich with some juice on the way there. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if I hadn’t.
Since the whole purpose of today’s ultrasound was to do measurements and both babies are head down and VERY low, they still had to put me on my back for a little bit with a break in between. Baby boy weighs 1lb 12oz and baby girl weighs 1lb 13oz so they’re right on target with that and very close together so that’s great! Their heartbeats were 143 and 146 but I don’t remember which was which now after all the chaos.
Now that they’re so much bigger it’s hard to decipher what’s what in the pics so you’re all on own with that. Scroll to the end for the 26 week pictures.
And just for those of you who don't know, when you lay on your back during pregnancy, the weight of the babies presses down on blood vessels in your back and restricts blood flow. This is why they tell pg ladies not to sleep on their back. Everything is fine!
I was still uncomfortable and the queasiness was increasing and she asked again so they sat me up some more. We got a little more done then I said something about being hot. That must’ve really alarmed her because she told Sean to open the door and then she got some wet paper towels and put them on my neck and wiped my head. At this point, she had me sitting straight up. But I think the wheels were set in motion. I said something about not feeling good still and asked if I should stand up. She told me no because she didn’t want me passing out. She told Sean to go into the hall and say “We need a nurse.” He went searching for one. Meanwhile, my hearing was going and I could feel darkness creeping up. I kept closing my eyes and she was mildly shaking me – stay with me! All I could think was, “Why don’t they have a fan in here?”
Finally two nurses rush into the room. Of course the blood pressure cuff in that room was attached to the wall and too far away from me. They finally got one and took my blood pressure – it was 90 over 60. I saw that one of them had smelling salts. I’m SO glad she didn’t need them. They got me some juice (not watered down – I couldn’t finish it) and I was all better. They asked if I’d eaten breakfast. I told them I’d just had an egg sandwich with some juice on the way there. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if I hadn’t.
Since the whole purpose of today’s ultrasound was to do measurements and both babies are head down and VERY low, they still had to put me on my back for a little bit with a break in between. Baby boy weighs 1lb 12oz and baby girl weighs 1lb 13oz so they’re right on target with that and very close together so that’s great! Their heartbeats were 143 and 146 but I don’t remember which was which now after all the chaos.
Now that they’re so much bigger it’s hard to decipher what’s what in the pics so you’re all on own with that. Scroll to the end for the 26 week pictures.
And just for those of you who don't know, when you lay on your back during pregnancy, the weight of the babies presses down on blood vessels in your back and restricts blood flow. This is why they tell pg ladies not to sleep on their back. Everything is fine!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The Nursery
The nursery is coming along nicely. The cribs and dressers are put together and the bedding has been washed. They even have a shiny new window fan thanks to Grandma and Grandpa Kovacs. We ran into a snafu with the changing table – one piece was badly scratched. The manufacturer is sending us a touch-up kit so we’ll see how that works. I will definitely be sending them a letter since we bought a LOT of furniture and we expect QUALITY!
We still need figure out a window covering but how hard can that be? Also, we didn’t want to buy a huge clothes hamper but that’s all we’ve been able to find besides the tiny cloth and wooden frame ones they sell at Babies R Us. I guess they’ll need a full size one soon enough, right? This is such a minor thing it’s almost a non-issue.
The babies have been a lot more active over the past couple weeks. I can definitely notice their sleep and wake periods. I have yet to find anything that really gets them going but I think it’s still early for that. We go in for a growth scan on Monday to make sure they’re growing like they should be (from the looks of my belly they are!). It’s always exciting to see them. Having frequent ultrasounds is definitely one of the perks of having twins. It’s so nice to be able to see them every couple weeks and actually SEE that things are going well.
I had a new tech at the last ultrasound and she said, “I sure hope you got some good pictures of them when they were little.” Of course I asked her why. She said that as they get bigger and bigger, it’s just hard to get a good shot of them. Growing babies is good!
We still need figure out a window covering but how hard can that be? Also, we didn’t want to buy a huge clothes hamper but that’s all we’ve been able to find besides the tiny cloth and wooden frame ones they sell at Babies R Us. I guess they’ll need a full size one soon enough, right? This is such a minor thing it’s almost a non-issue.
The babies have been a lot more active over the past couple weeks. I can definitely notice their sleep and wake periods. I have yet to find anything that really gets them going but I think it’s still early for that. We go in for a growth scan on Monday to make sure they’re growing like they should be (from the looks of my belly they are!). It’s always exciting to see them. Having frequent ultrasounds is definitely one of the perks of having twins. It’s so nice to be able to see them every couple weeks and actually SEE that things are going well.
I had a new tech at the last ultrasound and she said, “I sure hope you got some good pictures of them when they were little.” Of course I asked her why. She said that as they get bigger and bigger, it’s just hard to get a good shot of them. Growing babies is good!
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